A tale of two cats...

This past August, I lost my "small grey cat" who I came to call Shiraz. A sweet and sexy, tiny stray who showed up one day in 2008 - and disappeared almost a year to the day.

I discovered on that day, and subsequently what it is like to loose a pet. We still don't know what happened to Shiraz, we looked for her high and low, for weeks putting up signs, running to the SPCA, or around the corner when a call came in about a sighting, she was close and yet...not quite there. On one fateful night, she had to go out and explore, and she never came back.

Ironically little did I know, that two weeks later, another elusive cat that had crossed my path would also bring me grief, but this one would be the celluloid type. In December 2008, I directed the short film entitled The Cat in the Pan, shot on location in Montréal.

I worked on the project as the Director throughout the fall and winter of 08 and 09 and felt great joy and satisfaction to be working at my true calling in life. But life sometimes has unexpected surprises. Never did I imagine what could transpire during the postproduction of this film, when the producer decided to change a few things along the way.

We had a divergence of opinion... regarding the ending of the story, and the producer decided to recut the film and to add herself a co-director credit at the same time. Why not after all, who would mind ?

But what about issues like copywrite, artistic license, theft, fraud, or respect of an agreement? what's the difference anyway? They are just words and concepts after all. But they began to swirl in my head, and I was left perplexed by this unbelievable reality.

After all I was the sole director on this little film... I set up the shots, directed the actors, my name was on the slate! and on the call sheet!!!!!...I did my shot lists, breakdowns, camera angles, working all along on the script et all. How could I fix this injustice? Could I stand by the screen and scream the truth to all who watched my film ?

To date the credits have not been restituted, and at this point will probably stay that way for posterity. Reflecting on this turn of events, today I feel a great deal of gratitude in letting go of what was for a few weeks nothing less than hell.

I learned about intrinsic human and animal nature. It's in our nature to be selfish, to satify our own needs - like a cat, looking out for number one. But it's also in our nature to love and care and feel sadness for things that are lost, when we have no control over events.

This control, often desired and coveted, feels good when we have it, but when it's taken away, as it was in these two cases, I was humbled by the pain, the challenge and the injustice. I came to realized what matters most in all of these experiences.

What could I learn from these feelings? Something that I couldn't pay anyone enough to teach me for such a precious lesson : First hand insight- now I can feel grateful to have lived these experiences, which forced me to grow, through discomfort, and to appreciate what is in the here and the now, right at this moment.

These cat tales have shown me to never take for granted today or assume anything will be there tomorrow. These milestones in my life, have awakened my gratitude and appreciation for life. From loss come growth and overcoming our challenges helps us be our best.

Michael Jackson – Our collective grief for a pop icon and a legendary artist


Ever since I heard the news on June 25th, like the rest of the world, I have been in a state of disbelief, shock and amazement at what has actually happened. Most days, I have two or three of his songs playing in my head….I want you back, ABC, I’ll be there, Black or White. Thriller, Man in the Mirror....

The more they play in my mind the more I realize that his music is the soudtrack to our lives, this is who we grew up with…this man who we watched grow up on our televisions, and radios is part of our lives. Like Maya Angelou wrote for his memorial so beautifully: “We had him”.

The shock when he died was enormous, and all the reactions from around the world, just kept growing, touching people in so many ways.

Like a historical reference his music is a chronological reference to our own lives spanning four decades and inspired in all of us a love and admiration unequaled in popular culture.

The death of Michael Jackson reverberates across generations, cultures, race and lands – It really is the first time we as humans grieve an artist and icon – as a collective group.

It seems like we just took him for granted, his talent and creative spark.. when he was alive many people just forgot about what he meant or even worse they preyed on him.

Now with his passing we are as a collective grieve the death of a legend. An artist, who was laughed at, ridiculed, despised, hunted down by so-called investigative journalists and stalked by parasites - who most often must have gotten the money they wanted from him when they tried.

It is such an irony, he should have been celebrated in life with all the love and adoration that has flowed so powerfully since last two weeks.

He seemed to be a loner in later years, not often seen with his family. The powerful sadness that fills his eyes is overwhelming, even on the cover of THRILLER……maybe I am wrong…and part of me hopes I am.

At his press conference for the This is it Tour and he spoke and said ‘ I love you, I really love you..’ my heart broke - it was genuine, he did love his fans. And deep down inside I think that was, what counted most for him.

I feel such a profound sadness when I reflect on how he must have felt through most the late 90’s and 2000 when, all that once was, was past and his life was a legal circus, and nightmare - fighting for his dignity as a human being. How much could anyone take of that? The anguish and pain must have been enormous. It was no surprise to discover that he had been addicted to pain killers and prescribed medication. It would be inhumane to imagine just breezing through all that Michael Jackson lived though.

Celebrity is brutal, those who are part of that surreal world that is created around stars live life on a different channel than the rest of us.. But someone as talented and passionate as Michael Jackson deserved more from this world before leaving so abruptly.

Back to 1983, I was a sales person at Sam the Record Man in downtown Montréal. It was a cool job back in the day, during a cool summer where the vinyl hits just didn’t stop coming out…. Tears for Fears, The Police, Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, New Order, Talking Heads and the biggest one of them all Michael Jackson and Thriller. We went through so many boxes of Thriller it was unbelievable. It was sold out every day. We could’nt even put them on the shelf fast enough, they sold straight out of the box…. Imagine that kind of intensity….then …. today…. not ever…could it be duplicated. It was a unique moment in the history of music and popular culture.

On June 25th, when I first walked by the television and saw the image of Michael Jackson, with RIP written underneath on MTV - I didn’t believe it. Later that evening when I turned on the news, and saw that it was true I started thinking of those lyrics by Don McLean, “The day the music died….” now, it speaks such true emotions of how we all feel as a global community, We are the world ..and our king is dead ….long live the King of Pop. His death will bring what eluded him in life triumph over his accusers, redemption and the recognition he truly deserved for the musical genius he was and the beauty and love he brought to this world.